By Bamidele Johnson
My respect for the country’s theocratic elite, admittedly not a lot before now, has been obliterated by the reactions of many alfas to the laser-guided insult delivered by K1 to those Ganucologists, who went scrounging at his residence.
I thought alfas were above the type of petulant conduct common among Pentecostal preachers, who seem to have a lotta love for lucre and demand excessive deference, if not veneration. I’m one of those who cannot understand why being a cleric automatically places you above those outside the clerical ranks. I don’t see the basis for the superiority complex and the idea that other people’s money should be handed to you because of a turban and facial hair (small, medium or XXL). Or a cassock, collar, mitre, giant cross and other sartorial identity markers.
There are clear signs that many are high on their own supply. I heard one Ilorin Alfa challenge K1 to come to Ilorin and repeat the insult, as though his mom died in Ilorin. He bragged that everybody knows Ilorin alfas to have a capacity on the same spectrum as Weapons of Mass Destruction. If K1 came to Ilorin, he bragged, he wouldn’t get back to Lagos. Shakara oloje.
Where was their WMD all these years that politicians have been pissing on them? Can’t they make Kwara better than Dubai with the alleged powers? He then asked: “How much money does K1 even have?” Enough to take care of his needs, not of self-debasing and avaricious clerics, who converged on his home, uninvited, like a shoal of piranhas.
Another alfa, a very obnoxious one, isn’t satisfied with cursing K1. He cursed his children, who issued no insult. He gave a seven-day ultimatum to K1 to deliver an apology or face the consequences. With all these powers, they could pray for their own sons to have fuji-singing talents, rise meteorically and displace K1 from the height he’s reached. For effect, they could make K1 a band boy, playing shekere, to one or two of their sons. Why aren’t they doing this?
They are learning from Pentecostal preachers and their carnival of curses as well as demand for servile deference. They ain’t getting any from me. Nobody gets additional respect from me because he is a cleric. For some other things, yes. Not servile, though. Whether in turban or cassock, these chaps wear their pants one leg at a time-like I do. Is retailing Dua at funerals, naming ceremonies, Walimat and wedding ceremonies part of the faith or a cultural thing that is at the discretion of the giver? Wetin cause the matter? Why you do me so? Eyin gaan o ni se wali asiri.
•Johnson is a Nigerian journalist, marketing communications Executive.